Now that it's the holiday season and everything - what with the snow and rain and cold weather I've been spending a lot of time sitting on the couch in the living room with a fire going. I put up the painting that has been propped on the back of the couch for a month, and the Christmas lights were framed around the hearth. My roommate made dinner and we sat at the table talking about...well I don't know what we talked about - a bit about Christmas, I guess. What our plans are for the holidays.
After watching another movie that had been filmed in New York, Leila walked by the doorway ..or more like traipsed by, tossing toast into the toaster and walking away until it burned, and after that I could see her flinging her scarf around trying to dispel the smoke. Which is very much a familiar home thing. Because it's been a while since I've lived with anyone, I realize how nice it is to live in a home with someone else's presence.
I'm the only one going home for the holidays this season. My eldest sister usually spends her time quietly with her man, and my other sister is stuck selling beer to rosy-cheeked time-offers with the exception of Christmas Day & Boxing Day.
So it'll be my mom, step dad & I - and despite being exactly where I would ever want to be at Christmas, I have a feeling that it'll be another time of loneliness during the holiday season.
Time off does makes my mind reflect and really think about where I'm at in life - how much or little I've accomplished, how long it's been since I've dated anyone, "I wonder if I'll be able to share these things with someone who isn't a blood relation" sort-of-thought process, you know?
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1 comment:
That's pretty much exactly how I feel about this holiday season.
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