Brunch

I cannot wait to integrate back into the life of being judged by a server and not thinking about being a server anymore.
There are entirely too many people I deal with every week that are totally insane, annoying and sad. And I can't wait to be one of those people again.
Except I won't ask for a vegetable omelet with no cheese but extra onions and I want it well done, with just a tiny bit of potatoes and mostly salad, but can I have the dressing on the side? Can I have just egg whites? I'm on a yolk-cleanse. And I don't want cornbread, can I sub that for sausages? No? Well, I don't want the bread but can I have extra salad, then? And what other veggies come with the omelet? Could you add some peppers? Do you have avocado? What are your potatoes like? Can you make them extra crispy and put some cheese on top? No cheese in omelet but cheese on the few potatoes on my plate. How much longer for my food? Can I have some more hot water? Can I have some brown sugar? Do you have a smaller plate? I'm allergic to wheat, dairy...what? You don't have wheat-free bread and your cheese isn't soy cheese? Well...it's your lucky day! I brought my own bread and cheese so could you bring this into the kitchen and get them to add this to my meal? Don't worry - I'm not looking for a discount.
(Meanwhile the rest of the people at a table of eight are waiting to order, along with five other tables that just sat down)
Oh is that your tip jar? You pool tips? How sweet. *drops a quarter in the box*